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Monday, December 20, 2010

Oh boy, Christmas!

Somehow, (I'm not sure how) December has already started and Christmas is 5 days away... ? Where did December go? I'm pretty sure that last I looked it was still November. I mean, crap, I still vividly remember Halloween and I know it wasn't that long ago. So I guess it's almost christmas. I'm very excited for this year because it has brought with it a lot of fun things. Two of these things being our baby boy and our new house. I know Bentley is still small, but I still look forward to watching him interact with his new things. Joel and I are very happy to be in our own home now. Especially since we can now envision to an extent, what our future holidays will look like.

With the joys of Christmas also comes the stress of Christmas. I don't think it's going to get any easier trying to juggle families. Joel and I LOVE our families SO much! It's important to us that our children know their grandparents and aunts and uncles. Neither of us has a desire to move away or to have to travel long distances to be able to see any of them. But with being so close to everyone comes the challenge of balancing time. Unfortunately I have not quite mastered this skill. I try very hard to spend time with family. I hope they know that and can see my struggle to make ends meet. I love you all! With my mistakes come learning and hopefully a lot less sadness. I'm trying my best.

It's strange now that I have Bentley to see that Christmas doesn't hold as much magic as it used to  for me. When the roles switch and you become Santa and the parent... it's a little sad. I know what all the presents are and did all the shopping. There's less excitement waiting for it all. It makes me a little sad. I'm sure once our baby gets old enough to be excited about it that I'll be more excited to see him enjoy everything. I still look forward to going to my parents house. There's still mystery and magic there.

And a new year is about to begin... 2011.. I'm sure it'll be here before I can catch up!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My journey

Today my baby boy is 3 months old! I can't believe how quickly it has gone. One day I was in the hospital having a baby and the next day it's 3 months later. Pfew! It's been amazing being a mommy though. Bentley is such a good baby! He's so happy and smiles all the time. In the past week he has started trying to laugh. It's like I have this new mission in life... make him laugh. I love his little giggle and it seems like it comes and goes so quickly that I have to keep trying. Hence the new life mission... I remember when I was younger and I would watch people with babies. They would go crazy and make all these silly faces and basically do things that would generally be embarrasing. And I would think "No way, I'm never gonna do that." And now- here I am going gaga over this kid doing anything necessary to get that laugh. Your heart just melts a little more for them when they laugh. (I'm certain mine is all droopy and melty)

It's getting easier to function on less sleep. And it's not even that I get less sleep, it's that I get to wake up 2-5 times a night and stay awake for 10-30min each time. It really kills the whole REM sleep. But like I said, I'm getting better at functioning. I realized that continuing my prenatal pills is a very important part of my daily routine. Without it I'm completely lethargic. Bentley has also started coo-ing. Oh I love it! He just looks at you like he's saying things you're supposed to be understanding. Like his little gibber jabber makes sense.

Joel is having fun with him too. He says the funniest things sometimes. You know the person you marry and their norms... this is new. Like when we bought his first suit. (Button up white shirt, suit pants and a clip on tie) Joel gets him dressed and comes out of Bentley's room saying "Isn't he CUTE?" And of course I can't react and be like "did you honestly just say cute?" because then he'll realize what he's said and never do it again. So I smile to myself and enjoy watching a father with his son. Some things you just can't put into words. Love my little family. Joel is such a trooper too! He's currently working full time, going to school full time and coming home to a brand new baby and house. So many things that require his attention. Only a week left until he is done with this semester of school. He looks forward to the break! As do I! I missed my husband.